The OW's Remain Undefeated

This is going to be one for the record books, if anyone could be bothered to keep records for the Queen Anne Recreational Softball League. Our ump tonight could hardly be bothered to keep track of the outs. But, for the first time ever, the Oscar Wildes have not lost two games in a row-- a historic start befitting a team bemascotted with a historical literary figure.

In tonight's well-fought non-loss, the Oscar Wildes proved for the second time this season that more so than last year, they are capable of not losing every game. In fact, they were dangerously close to actually winning their second game ever, up by 4 going into the final inning after battling back from an early 5 run deficit, but fortunately I made sure that didn't happen. Letting that hit get past me in left field in the top of the seventh to let the tying run score had nothing to do with my innate inabilty to field hardhit grounders and everything to do with my not wanting us to become complacent and take it for granted the we could just coast through this season and walk away with the title* again.

But despite a less-than-ideal final inning, when all was said and done, our fans still loved us. Granted, our fans tonight consisted of parents of Oscar Wildes (Rebecca's parents and Christie's mom) and children of Oscar Wildes (our two smallest benchwarmers, Abi and Mari, who, despite referring to the dugout as the "cutout" and despite being small children, actually seemed to be picking up the finer points of the game better than most of the team (j/k, Oscar Wildes, j/k!).)

But even objective observers, like, say, players on the other team, were impressed by the Oscar Wildes' come-from-behind almost-victory. Not that we still don't have a few areas that we could improve on as a team. Like dugout chatter. Stepping up to the plate at some point around the third inning, I distinctly heard an Oscar Wilde yell, "Pop one up!"

Perhaps this Wilde had recognized my tendency to perform the exact opposite of what I intend (like believe it or not, that one time when I was throwing a foul ball back in, I actually was aiming in the general direction of the pitcher's mound and not at the trees on the other side of the left field fence) and so was telling me to attempt to pop it up so that I would actually hit a line drive over the shortstop's head. Although, I know me criticizing someone else's choice of things to yell encouragingly at one's teammates is much like, say, Oscar Wilde calling the kettle flamboyant, as I have exactly three phrases that I repeat: "you can do it!", "you got it!", and, another blatant pot-kettle example, "wait for your pitch!"

Unfotunately the exact details of our amazing comeback are a little fuzzy, not for any particular reason (tonight I actually managed to eat a post-game ice cream without getting hit in the face), but because oddly enough I have a horrible memory for sporting events, which is why I write lengthy post-game recaps that somehow fail to mention any of the actual plays of the game. But I do remember the quote of the night, which came from Herr Coach Toffer "Coach" Lehnherr when questioned** about the massive scrape on his knee: "Yes, it did bleed, but I did not cry." I think we can all apply this lesson to tonight's game.

So, in conclusion, while some Wildes may have been disappointed with the outcome of their second contest, we must keep in mind the words of our always relevant (and oft-taken-out-of-context) mascot: "A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life."

Stay tuned as the Oscar Wildes gear up for their next opportunity to not lose on Wednesday, June 17 at 7:45 PM on their lucky field, QA #1. Go OWs!


* This title being the title of "Best Team in the Queen Anne League Named After a 19th Century Irish Writer."

**The exact line of questioning, which came from Abi, was: "Did it bleed? Did you cry?" Although I think the quote is much funnier out of context, which is why I am hiding the context in this footnote seeing as it is unlikely anyone will read this far.

What Cecilia Said

All that off-season training really paid off--the Oscar Wildes brought home a win in our season opener on Tuesday, June 2nd. We triumphed over Volumptuous (sic...I think?) with 12 runs to their 4 in six complete innings. N.B.: this was not a win by forfeit, nor was it a tie. 12 to 4!

But that isn't a wide enough spread for slaughter rule! you say. Why didn't the magnificent Oscar Wildes play the full seven innings mandated by the league? Well, despite its daytime strength this week, the sun really does have to go down at some point. And because the lights never came on (?!), the ump called the game at the bottom of the sixth. When we returned to Targy's (we had, of course, started pre-game warm-up there as well) and chatted with some members of Holy Cow and More Cowbell (Gates Foundation teams), we found out they didn't get to play their games at all, thanks to the lack of light.

But why dwell on the negative? We had some great moments! Cecilia, Bill, and Scott R. snagged some excellent catches in the outfield (which hopefully outshined the rest of Cecilia's shitty night), and the infield worked well together, helping to hold the Volumptians to a minimum number of runs. Zach pitched strongly the whole game, and solid at-bats by newcomers like Vanessa R., Sam, and Scott L., as well as the coaching staff and some other old-timers, helped us drive our runs up into the double-digits. Good, ridiculous, ballsy baserunning by all OWs (even when in direct contradiction to whatever the base coach was telling us) was also a big part of that. Danny Shapiro's legacy lives on.

Next up--time to hit the cages. Here's the lowdown:

(This) Sunday, June 7th
Funtasia
7212 220th St
Edmonds (right off Hwy 99)
5-7(ish)

The next Oscar Wildes game will be Thursday, June 11th at 7:45 on Queen Anne 2, following the 826 Seattle Tutor Idol and potluck.

Until then, in the words of our great mascot,

Mere colour, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways.

[I think that means he wants us to make sure our lovely goldenrod jerseys are clean.]

Our First Win! (and why there is no celebratory recap of it yet)

The full recap of the historic first win of the Oscar Wildes will, unfortunately, be postponed until tomorrow. That is because right now I am too busy icing my face to fully capture the highlights of tonight's game. Now you might be saying to yourself, "Hmm, that's odd, I don't remember the play where Cecilia got hit in the face," and that is the irony of the situation. I somehow made it through an entire softball game without getting hit in the head by thrown objects and even skipped out on the post-game drinks so I could grab a ride home, get a victory celebration ice cream cone just like Little League, and call it a wholesome early night (no drinking, no biking home in the dark--what could go wrong?), yet somehow I ended up getting hit in the nose with a CD cover hurled from a passing car with enough force to cut my face, cause a minor nosebleed, and leave me with a throbbing headache.

Yes, sitting outside Molly Moon's in Wallingford I got hit in the face with a cocaine-covered case of a CD entitled "Mixtape." I am not joking. And this is why I write nonfiction. I could not possibly make this shit up.

So, good game Oscar Wildes. I am going to bed, but more tomorrow.

Oscar Wildes Pre-Season Injury Update

Friends and compatriots of the Oscar Wildes will be happy to know that C/OF Jennifer Koogler has completed her rehab assignment today after a game of catch at Cal Anderson Park. Koogler reported no discomfort in her left wrist, which was broken in last year's final regular-season game.

She will be activated from the disabled list in time for this week's late-spring training, and is scheduled to appear on Opening Day, June 2.

Team Pictures

Here are a selection of pictures that ended up on my camera during the season (mostly in the last two games). Anyone else have photographic evidence to share?

The Slow, Wobbly, Mostly Continuous Descent of the OW Empire

Turn on your ceiling fan, cue the Doors, and strip down to your skivvies in a hotel in Saigon...this is the end. Despite our best efforts, the Oscar Wildes lost to the Gates Foundation Holy Cow team on Monday, and thusly ended our inaugural season. But we didn't go down without a fight.

In fact, we were winning the fight for most of the bout. Zach started off most innings with a strike, our bats were swinging and making contact, our baserunning was smart but not without risk...we were up 5-0 for a while there! Against the best team in the league, too, and without such key luminaries such as Bill, Jesse, Danny, Scott, Keith, and Kevin, who had, among other commitments, previously scheduled dates with the seductive Red Sox and rugged Idaho wilderness. Though not at the same time, as sexy as that might sound.

We spent a lot of time in the dirt in this one, I'm proud to say, and mostly it did us good. Jared, Crystal, and Coach all threw themselves down for the cause, and Mike impressed everyone with a sternum-first dive into third (which, even though he made it, sadly turned out to be a part of the larger death-rattle that was the 7th inning). Knees were skinned, good-natured insults were thrown out, and the word "hustle" was tossed around even more than usual--minus the beers, it was the spittin' image of my days in Little League (right down to losing in the playoffs).

Post-loss, we had a nice pow-wow at Targy's followed by some pool and jukebox action. Apparently, the Universe didn't think that we had lost quite enough yet, though, and my pool team suffered four losses in a row (though if Oscar Wildes lose to other Oscar Wildes, does that count?). Weirdly, I was the only constant in that equation, as I recruited a new partner each time...but that can't possibly have anything to do with it. Cecilia did pocket an amazing corner shot with the eight ball when we had just come from behind, and we thought we had triumphed--only to watch in horror as the cue ball decided to scratch and ruin everything. It just wasn't our night.

Our knight, of course, would be this guy, to whom many Oscar Wildes paid their respects at the midnight showing last Thursday night (yes, after that horrendous loss) at the Cinerama:


Despite our only "W" being a forfeit and the closest thing to an earned victory being a tie, it's been a really great season. 826 volunteers have gotten to know one another better, we've spread the 826 gospel all over Queen Anne in a thick, creamy layer, and best of all, we got to get outside, get dirty, drink some beer and play some ball in the Seattle sunshine (and that one thunderstorm). Thanks to all you Oscar Wildes for your excellent, greensleeved antics...I'll see you in the weight room. Or, barring that kind of off-season dedication, in Greenwood.

The Fake Playoffs: A Recap

The Oscar Wildes meant business last night; the drink cooler was spiked with Powerade. And business it was for the first six innings. Danny started us off with a home run*. We had back-to-back 1-2-3 innings. We let them load the bases but escaped without giving up a run. Zach made a spectacular catch with a jump reminiscent of the second most famous person in the world with the initials MJ. Heading into the final inning we were actually up by a run. Strictly business. And then the top of the seventh came and it was Casual Friday. Casual Friday on the day before a holiday when everyone is out of the office by noon.

It was the most heartbreaking non-win of the season. But like our olde friende Oscar Wilde says, "The heart was made to be broken." Or was it the arm? Jen gets the MVQ award for the game (Most Valuable Quoter, if you were wondering, which you might have been). Selecting appropriate witticisms out of a sizeable volume of gems spoken by our favorite 19th century Irish writer to coincide with plays made in a rec league softball game is not as easy as it sounds. To quote our quoter sometime around the bottom of the 4th, "What is this? Oh, it's from The Importance of Being Earnest."

No worries, however. We haven't been eliminated as apparently the playoffs have yet to begin. And, despite the recent loss, the Oscar Wildes still retain their title of Best Team Named After a 19th Century Irish Writer while adding a new one --Worst Team in the Queen Anne League! Now it’s official.

And speaking of officials, what was with that strike zone? And now that we're going off on a tangent . . . Note to self/others: Appropriate places to commiserate after a tough loss on the field-- pub, dive bar, pizza joint. Appropriate places to hold your bachelorette party if you plan on wearing a veil and satin sash with "Sexy Bride" embroidered in baby blue-- fake Mexican restaurant, male "dance" club, piano bar.

You don't need a Venn diagram to figure out that there's no overlap and that's the way it should stay. While a co-ed softball team and a group of co-eds sound similar, in reality they are as distinct as dusty baseball t-shirts and spaghetti strap dresses and drinking venues should be chosen accordingly. Crystal said that the pianoing would not start until 9pm. This was not true. Shortly after 8pm the pianists began taking requests.

Fortunately, though, the OWs took advantage of the situation, each in their own way. Vanessa found potential tutors from the slim pickings of the early evening Chopstix crowd. Whether it's chatting up batters from behind the plate or consoling middle-aged women inappropriately groped by their daughter-in-law's gay best friend, she is always able to steer the conversation towards volunteering for 826.

And, be that as it may, in conclusion, as it were, to sum it up--just as someone who wasn't Oscar Wilde said, "It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings." Or until the skinny man calls you up to the piano to sing you a birthday song (to the tune of John Lennon's "Imagine") about you and your girlfriends surrounding him in a hot tub. Then it's all over. But the OWs have one more shot at glory, one more chance to snag that elusive W, one more game to keep the dream alive.

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*Unfortunately, I am again unable to describe in detail his amazing hit. While I was actually at the field this time, I was scrambling to tie my cleats since I was on deck less than a minute after arriving. The whole thing sounded quite impressive, though.