A Dramatic Night for the O. Wildes

We start off with a no-hitter first inning, followed by scoring MULTIPLE runs (!). In inning number two, we (roughly) replicate the first inning. We feel pretty good. Then, some errors are made, but still, we feel good. The sun is out, we're playing ball, kids are horsing around on the bleachers...it doesn't get better than this right?

Right. Indeed, it gets worse.

In what might have been (in another, more benignly smiling universe) a stunning triple play, pitcher Zach saved his face from being bashed in by a line drive, which he then chucked to Bill at first base just in time to pick off the surprised baserunner who hadn't tagged up. Bill, in his infinite optimism, tried to turn a triple by gunning it to Jen at home, just as the other team's pitcher came barreling at her full thrust from third.

This, friends, is where the biscuit began to unroll, if I may adapt one of Jesse's terms.

"Gunned," indeed. Jen could have benefitted from kevlar jersey sleeves today. With a bad, bad stroke of luck, Bill's magnificent fastball came to a rest only after ricocheting off Jen's left forearm...BREAKING A BONE.

Yes. A bone. Broken. We would have carried her off the field directly into an ambulance, had there been one waiting. But what did Jen do? She played the rest of the inning in right field (as well as in agony) and only left for the hospital after we finally retired the side. I challenge you to present me with a major league catcher who has done the same. Three cheers for Jen, the bravest Wilde of them all!

Needless to say, this shook us up. Jen's injury, the fact that we then only had enough girls to play two outfielders, and the weird feel of the foreign Woodland Park field--with its bat humidor and roofed dugout and well-groomed infield--all added up for a stinging 7-6 defeat. Or, it might have been a stinging 6-5 defeat, no one is sure.

Other ups, downs, and notables from tonight:

• The Blue Star's spinach artichoke dip was sadly wanting.
• Going by Google hits alone, we settled an argument: more of the world knows about Michael Jackson (44 million) than Michael Jordan (10.7 million).
  
• Matt thought he didn't get a tomato on his Gardenburger, but then it turned out he did (whew).
• Teri pulled up in her Miada for a liquor store run, but after idling her engine in the road to chat with us, left--sans alcohol. Surely she isn't ashamed to buy booze in front of 826 volunteers, many of whom she witnessed saving leftover beer from a keg in empty Talking Rain bottles at last year's Mustache-a-Thon wrap party?*
  
• Danny's salted caramel ice cream at Molly Moon's was more like caramelized salt ice cream, and it is possible we will lose him to a sodium-induced heart condition tonight.
• We found out Zach was a substitute teacher at my high school...when I went there. Everyone then felt either sadly old or abashedly young.
  
• Bill and I have the same birthday, which we share with Bill (f**king) Clinton.
• Bill feels really bad about Jen's arm and won't sleep well tonight. Our Bill, I mean. I'm pretty sure Bill (f**king) Clinton sleeps okay regardless of how many arms he breaks in a day.

And that brings us to the end of regular-season play. See you in the post-season!**


*Speaking of Mustache-a-Thon...I hope you're readying your upper lip for September.
**Next Thursday, that is.